Josh Earnest says to trust Obama to protect us. Wait a minute! Doesn’t “earnest” mean “serious?!”

White House Press Secretary Josh Earnest: “I think the American people should be confident that their commander in chief and that their government is expending significant time and resources to ensure that we are using every tool at our disposal to protect the American people.” Rolling on the floor!

Earnest went on to describe the president as “clear-eyed” about the threat posed by the JV ISIS, and would explain his military strategy (which didn’t exist a few days ago) to “degrade and destroy” the JV ISIS. This guy cracks me up!

Proclaimed Secretary Serious about President Obama’s upcoming prime time address to the nation, “You’ll hear a clear strategy from the president about what we’re going to do to keep the American people safe.” Bwaaaaaaahaaaaaaahaaaaaaahaaaaaaaa! Stop it, man! You’re killing me!

The President’s address is expected to garner record ratings, as ISIS and its millions of supporters will be tuning in to take notes on red lines and deadlines and troop numbers and locations and tactics and strategy, and even the lunch menu in the Special Ops mess hall.